Luckiest MaMa

 Shhhh....I have a secret!

 It's in this bag,

I brought it home from school today

 A special surprise for my Mama

Our first Mother's Day

 Love, 

Sasha Jade

Happy Mothers Day x 3

Before I was a Mom, 

I never tripped over toys 

or forgot words to a lullaby. 

I didn't worry whether or not 

my plants were poisonous. 

I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom, 

I had never been puked on. 

Pooped on. 

Chewed on. 

Peed on. 

I had complete control of my mind 

and my thoughts. 

I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom, 

I never held down a screaming child 

so doctors could do tests. 

Or give shots. 

I never looked into teary eyes and cried. 

I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 

I never sat up late hours at night 

watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom, 

I never held a sleeping baby just because 

I didn't want to put them down. 

I never felt my heart break into a million pieces 

when I couldn't stop the hurt. 

I never knew that something so small 

could affect my life so much. 

I never knew that I could love someone so much. 

I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom, 

I didn't know the feeling of 

having my heart outside my body.. 

I didn't know how special it could feel 

to feed a hungry baby.. 

I didn't know that bond 

between a mother and her child. 

I didn't know that something so small 

could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom, 

I had never gotten up in the middle of the night 

every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. 

I had never known the warmth, 

the joy, 

the love, 

the heartache, 

the wonderment 

or the satisfaction of being a Mom. 

I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, 

before I was a Mom

Help Wanted:

JOB DESCRIPTION : 

Long term, team players needed for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings,weekends, holidays and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities.

RESPONSIBILITIES:

The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work. 

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT AND PROMOTION:

Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:

None required. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. 

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:

Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. 

BENEFITS:

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right. 

POSITION:

Mom!

Saturday In The Park