3

It is interesting to note that Sasha Tian Tian has had three mothers; a birth mother, a foster mother, and now me, her third mother. Three has always been my lucky number. She is three years old, my third child, and I am her third mother. We are her third family. 

We are lucky to be surrounded by many wonderful friends in China with us, friends that Sasha calls Aiyis (Aunties). She refers to me as Aiyi and sometimes as Mama. I know it is confusing, we have been so busy having fun, swimming, playing, dancing in the hotel lobby, enjoying each other. It's a bit of a honeymoon period for all of us now. I believe Sasha thinks we live in a hotel! The real bonding will come for her and I when we get home and into a routine. I will be her primary caregiver, I will be the one feeding her, kissing her tong tongs (boo boos), tucking her in at nap time, bathing her, and in this process I will morph into "Mama". 

Sasha was very attached to a loving foster mother, and her "rejection" of me is a normal part of her loyalty to her foster mother; part of the grieving process. After all, if she could make the switch so easily, it would not be normal. I am thankful she was bonded and attached because I know she knows how to do it and it will happen again with us, in time. It's like a muscle, it has memory. A dear friend has told me that Sasha's adjustment is the best she has ever seen in many years of facilitating adoptions, the best we could expect. We are beyond lucky to have had a chance to send many photo albums, videos, and gifts, so she was well prepared and already "knew" us when she joined us on Forever Family Day. We did many things before her adoption to promote bonding, we are lucky to have the blanket she has slept with for the last 2 years, and her favorite clothes. We studied Chinese to be able to communicate with her and best meet her needs. We have kept her nap schedule consistent while we are here in China. All of these small details are making a huge difference.